A People who Forgive

Andy Wall
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God wants us to live joyous lives in the Spirit, but bitterness and unforgiveness can be a big block to this. We fight this by forgiving others, which we are both commanded to do by God, and are encouraged to do for our own good.


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Ephesians 4:30-32

And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

We need to choose to live lives that don't grieve the Holy Spirit. This can only be done by the power that the Holy Spirit brings to our lives, by allowing Him to work in us.

The characteristics in verse 31 are the ones that will grieve the Holy Spirit, and one way to get rid of these from our lives is to forgive others. Forgiveness brings freedom and peace. It also helps us to have the attitudes described in verse 32, and to treat people not in the way that they deserve.

Before we forgive, it is good to understand what forgiveness is and is not.

Forgiveness is not:

  • Approving of sin
  • Enabling sin
  • Denying a wrongdoing
  • Waiting for an apology
  • Forgetting
  • Ceasing to feel pain
  • A onetime event
  • Neglecting justice
  • Trusting
  • Reconciliation

Forgiveness is:

  • Being aware of what someone has done, but still choosing to forgive them
  • A choice to keep no records of wrong
  • Refusing to punish
  • Not telling others what they did
  • Being Merciful
  • Choosing to be gracious with the person
  • Absence of bitterness
  • Forgiving yourself
  • Both a decision and a process
  • A source of great joy

Questions:

  • What do you think of the description of the Christian life being one where we live in fellowship with the Spirit? What does this look like?
  • Have you thought about how the Holy Spirit feels before? What does it mean to grieve him?
  • Look at the progression from bitterness to malice in verse 31, have you considered this before?
  • Have you known people went through this process?
  • Why is unforgiveness so powerful at controlling our lives?
  • Look at the list of what forgiveness is not, do you agree or disagree with any of the statements?
  • Do the same for the list of what forgiveness is, is there anything that surprises you?
  • End with some time for reflection; part of forgiving will be getting before God and making decisions personally.