How can I make good decisions?

Luke Davydaitis

Most Christians want God to guide them clearly, especially in relationships, but often God prefers to encourage us to grow in wisdom so that we can make good decisions. The book of Proverbs is full of truth to help us with this.

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“Our mind-set is ‘God, tell me who, tell me how, tell me when - and then I'll trust you.’ What God wants us to see is that if He did this, our trust wouldn't be real. We want a definitive answer so we won't feel vulnerable, weak, and dependent on Him. But guess what? We are vulnerable, weak, and dependent on Him. And it's only when we realise our true condition that God can demonstrate His strength and love on our behalf.” (Joshua Harris, Boy Meets Girl)

“We naively think that the more we grow as Christians, the easier it will be to discern the will of God. But the opposite is often the case. God treats the mature leader as a mature adult, leaving more and more to his or her spiritual discernment and giving fewer bits of tangible guidance.” (J. Oswald Sanders, Spiritual Leadership)

Six principles for getting wisdom:

1. Get wisdom! (Proverbs 4:7)

2. Fear God (2:6, 9:10, 10:8, 3:5-8)

3. Team work (12:15, 15:22)

4. Watch your steps (14:16, 22:3, 27:20, 6:27, 7:22-23, 28:13)

5. Find a good thing (18:22, 31:30)


  • What might make us consider wisdom to be second-best to guidance? What is wrong about that assessment?

  • Which of the ​five principles are you most eager to apply to your life? What can you do to make them happen?

  • How have you learned wisdom during your life as a Christian?

  • How would you describe the biblical concept of fearing God to someone who wasn’t a Christian?

  • Who is on your team to help in key moments?

  • What are the benefits / risks of planning ahead for relationships?

  • What did you learn from the story of King David’s terrible sin?

  • How can you as a small group help people in their relationships?

  • Why is it important that we understand Proverbs to be observations of how life usually goes, rather than promises?